Airport Road

September 8, 2007

I’m glad my Palio isn’t sentient. If it was, it would be miserable. The past week it’s been going to work at 30 kmph on Airport Road, and coming back even slower. It has me to blame for coming home early instead of being a good boy, going to the gym after work, and not coming home until Airport Road is empty.

The Palio just isn’t meant to crawl along Airport Road behind traffic. Autorickshaws, yes. They’re a natural for that sort of job. Indicas too. But the Palio is meant for better things. Like coming down the Airport Road flyover at 80 kmph while Radio Indigo plays ‘Hips don’t lie’ and shooting past an Accent with a ‘It’s not how you drive, it’s where you park’ bumper sticker. Actually, bub, it’s who overtakes you.

The problem with that is that the fast lane is almost never empty enough to overtake black Accents. Usually, it’s occupied by some wanker of an Indicab who’s going at 35 and refuses to move into the middle. Or worse, an Omni, which never accelerates, but manages to come to a dead halt in two seconds. Blast them.

So I need to cut down on the eating out even further, and start saving up for fuel for a road trip. Saturdays have finally been made holidays. The Palio deserves the Bangalore-Chennai highway after what it’s been going through.


Facebook and Schadenfreude

September 5, 2007

My hypothesis that my quarterlife crisis is really just pent up teenage angst finally being let out is being supported from my schadenfreude-laden reaction to joining Facebook.

The brilliant thing about Facebook is not that it allows you to meet women. In fact that’s one of the scariest things about Facebook. You add a woman you know in passing and then discover that she’s a Hezbollah member, or believes in natural contraception. But that’s another story. No, as I was saying, the brilliant thing about Facebook is the schadenfreude it lets you indulge in when you run across old batchmates. In this respect it is far superior to orkut.

On orkut, the old school batchmates I was running across were growing their hair and writing pretentious poetry. Which is just so putting off that you don’t even feel schadenfreude.

On facebook, however, I discovered this dude who used to be a heartthrob across three batches. Tennis player. Basketball player. Three thirds. And now he’s gone to seed. Beer belly. Puffy face. Bad haircut. And a job which is much worse than mine on the scale of corporate whoredom. It was glorious. It was like the ending of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion.

Such are the cheap thrills which I get these days. It’s definitely my teenage years finally catching up with me.


HPEC-MIFC

September 5, 2007

I want to make babies with the Percy Mistry report.

(If you do click, it’s a 2 MB PDF file, but worth every byte.)


CPI (M): Learning is Bad

September 5, 2007

According to Prakash Karat, the joint naval exercise with the US harms India’s sovereignity.

The opportunity to learn from the world’s most powerful navy harms our sovereignity.

The insights we get into naval warfare harm our sovereignity.

The goodwill we will build with major world powers harms our sovereignity.

The recognition of India as a regional power with a stake in ensuring the security of shipping lanes harms our sovereignity.

The only way to preserve our sovereignity is to hand our domestic and foreign policy over to a bunch of traitors who’re hellbent on stalling economic progress and who have a track record of supporting the country we’re at war with.

If you repeat a divine argument enough, it becomes true.


Diplomacy is a Katana and a Smirk

September 4, 2007

The chickens could get Ambassador Sen’s head, and he might be sacked from government service. In that case, he would wander the earth, a diplomat without a country to serve. So would he then become Ronin Sen?


Minimum Standards of Wordplay

September 3, 2007

A pun ceases to be clever if the Times of India uses it.