Our Very Own Friedman

It is fascinating to read Seriously Sandeep these days. Sandeep’s use – or rather abuse – of metaphors is fast approaching Thomas Friedman levels.

Like this:

You need to really think from another bodily orifice to impute symmetry between the two.

Another bodily orifice? Which bodily orifice do people usually think with? Is this morbid obsession with orifices due to the influence of Es Y’golonac?

And then there’s this:

The news fresh from the oven is how the mass of concocted turd that Teesta Setalvad threw against Modi came back and landed on her own face after seven years.

WTF? Seriously, WTF? How do you concoct a turd? Does it involve carefully monitoring how many beans and pulses you eat? And even if you did concoct a turd, who in their right minds would preserve a turd for seven years?

Let’s not forget the man’s Pioneer op-ed:

The frenzied shindigs surrounding the battle fortifications bring both amusement and concern at the eve of every election especially after the demise of single-party dominance in Indian politics.

I can imagine a situation where you have shindigs inside battle fortifications, when the fortified army has enough resources to last out a siege and decides to party. But if you’re talking about the stuff surrounding fortifications, it’s usually siege weapons and infantry companies. Rarely shindigs. And forget the shindig. What the hell does that sentence mean? How do you parse it? I fed it to the Stanford Parser (thanks, Arnab!) and it took almost 1.75 seconds to come up with this. It still doesn’t make sense. This, by the way, is the man who wrote:

It also, further, suffers from the same potomania that characterizes Marxist writings: a glaring paucity of clear thought and a tendency to use a thousand words instead of one.

What can explain this outpouring of mixed metaphors? My theory is that at any given point of time, there must be one ranting desi blog that is obsessed with shit. Last year, it was Jagadguru and poopi. And now it is Sandeep with his turds. When He stopped blogging in January, it was not to abandon us. Rather, He has returned as Seriously Sandeep. Blessed is the Jagadguru!

No Responses Yet to “Our Very Own Friedman”

  1. Nilu Says:

    This what happens when you get swayed by one prophet.

    This one leads an Oulipo Movement in the Indian tradition without his own knowledge even.

  2. Vishal Says:

    I’m definitely going to start using ‘concoct a turd’ in every conversation I have.

  3. Kunal Says:

    My theory is that at any given point of time, there must be one ranting desi blog that is obsessed with shit. Last year, it was Jagadguru and poopi. And now it is Sandeep with his turds. When He stopped blogging in January, it was not to abandon us. Rather, He has returned as Seriously Sandeep.

    I disagree. The Jagadguru (pbuh) referenced the word “shit” either as the compound “bullshit” or the adjective “shitty”. There was no variety. Actual scatological references were few and far in between. The Jagadguru thus only skimmed the surface of the cesspool.

    Sandeep, otoh jumps right in with the skill of a professional dunnikin diver. There are concocted turds, and splattering excreta, refuse collected over seven years and gutter inspectors going through scat-laden sewes. His Harry King-like devotion to using nature’s bounty in his work is epic. All comparison between him and the Jagadguru (pbuh) are unwarranted, at least in this one area.

  4. Nam Says:

    Sandeep is awesome, his writing has a flair that few can match.

  5. Ot Says:

    I am all for pouring scorn on style, if there are serious issues with substance as well. “Can turd be concocted?” is an insignificant question given the facts that Sandeep is drawing attention to. Establishment media is in the habit of sugarcoating turds and re-branding them as doughnuts. (Citizens for Justice and Peace readily come to mind.). Sandeep erred in mixing metaphors alright, but his crime was chiefly in the area of failing to identify the object of concoction: doughnut, not turd.

    But since the question was brought up anyway: yes, turd can be concocted. Google for ‘turd-o-gram”. Don’t google at home though, especially when eating lunch.

  6. Babban Says:

    Fact is, among all desi bloggers, Seriously Sandeep stands tallest.

    The reason why you are targeting him in this frivolous manner is because you are unable to counter the arguments and facts that he presents.

    It is plain silly of you to start questioning the dress code or fashion sense of a messenger who is bringing in hard, unwelcome and eye-opening news.

    Ponder on what Sandeep has to say, avoid using derogatory adjectives that mainly schoolboys or girlie men use, and do a more indepth analysis of the issues he raises. No point hollering about how he raised an issue.

    Btw, Friedman is a great guy, good writer, amazing aggregator of facts & thoughts, and materially rather successful.


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