Posted by: Aadisht on: June 25, 2010
The UK census for the first time in 2001 included a “mixed” category to account for people with mixed parentage (1.4% of total population and expected to be UK’s largest ethnic minority group by 2020). Anyone in China today, more so in the big cities would be familiar with white babies with Chinese eyes – in most cases children of an Asian mother and Caucasian/ White father. If the China census included a “mixed” category, I am certain it would be a sizable number, though it may be negligible when compared to overall population. While “Mulatto” is a term used for person with one black and one white parent, we may very soon see a similar term for children of Asian-Caucasian/ Asian-White parents.
It is said that one of the ways to ensure that your partner is not cheating on you is to look out for someone with say, similar color of eyes – for example, blue eyed people will subconsciously go in for partners with blue eyes. This is also a way to ensure that your child gets certain genetic characteristics, like blue eyes in above example. Now while it may be easy to understand blondes getting attracted to blondes or those with light eyes getting attracted to someone with light eyes as well; lets explore what attracts the white man to the Chinese woman or vice versa.
As more and more foreigners (men), come to China for work, get married to a Chinese woman and settle down here, we see more and more babies of Asian-Caucasian mixed parentage. The examples of Chinese men and foreign women are very few and far between. This is partly due to the fact that Chinese men are very shy and would not be able to approach a foreign woman as easily as a Caucasian guy would approach an Asian woman. And if they did, they still lack the charm required to engage the foreign women. Most Chinese/ Asian women are smitten with the idea of being with/ marrying a “white” guy. For them it’s a passport to a “supposedly” better life and change of nationality. In fact a lot of Chinese women look down upon other Chinese after marrying a foreigner. An article that stirred up quite a controversy here recently talks about this craze Chinese women have for foreigners that makes them marry white men double or sometimes triple their age! White men think Asian women make fantastic homemakers – also the effort they need to put in to charm/ seduce an Asian woman is zilch when compared to trying to charm a white woman! Because while the white woman may need wining, dining, the works; the Chinese woman here is just happy to be with someone who has white skin, behaves like a gentleman and is probably better on hygiene than some local Chinese men, even if he is her father’s age. Also they are not so hung up on making nice conversation – they prefer action to words! In fact in most cases, there is no communication between them or communication where the white guy is trying to explain some basic things while the Chinese girl looks at him in awe. Chinese women also make it much more convenient for men to approach them or sometimes may even make the first move. I am not saying all Chinese/ Asian women are like this, but most are really fascinated by the idea of being on the arm of a white guy! Of course there are strong exceptions and I have some white friends who say that don’t find Asian women particularly attractive. One of my friends pointed out that while he feels happy to see white men marrying Asian woman and starting a family, what is truly detestable is when a white guy leaves his wife and kids to be with an Asian woman his daughter’s age. Also there is a trend of having a Chinese “girlfriend” even if one is married. Also not all Asian/ Chinese women want to be with a foreigner. I have some very good Chinese friends and these girls say they are very happy with their Chinese boyfriends/ husbands.
Now interesting to note here is that somehow Indian women just don’t feel the same about white men – in spite of the fact that most white men consider Indian women to be extremely attractive. Guess Indian women are very happy with Indian men or simply look for stability and think that the white men are not marriage material given the high divorce rates in the west (Indians marrying foreigners can be a separate post altogether). While there are quite a lot of Indian men who have married Asian women but I don’t know any Indian woman married to an Asian guy. Again it’s much easier for Caucasian men to marry Asian women who may be looking at domestic roles compared to their ambitious Caucasian counterparts. It’s a similar case in Singapore and most of South East Asia and this article is actually about white women complaining about how all the white men are going after Asian women. Even Japanese women are quite in demand as they are known to be “submissive” – the popular saying is ‘Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English (country) house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.’ (To digress a bit; in the current context with the RMB appreciation, a Chinese salary may not be all that bad and an American salary is no longer as glamorous as it used to be).
Now where does all this leave the Chinese/Asian guy – he is in quite an unenviable position really. In fact, as one my friends rightly pointed out, some Shanghainese men do the dishes, cleaning, cooking, all housework, carry their wife/ girlfriend’s handbag just to compete with the white men vying for the Shanghainese women. A TV advert here for “Nivea for men – oil control” shows a Chinese guy with a very oily face giving a presentation in the boardroom and a white woman (portrayed as his boss) giving him disapproving looks – then it shows a Chinese guy with very good skin and the same white woman smiling and nodding in appreciation. Loreal and Nivea say that China is the biggest market for male grooming products – the Chinese man is trying his best!
Let’s also look at the state of black women in the US. 70% of working African American women are single and 45% of African American never marry. Here is an interesting blog from Economist on the black woman’s quandary. It says black women are in an awful spot when it comes to dating. But clearly white, brown, black women prefer to be single than to be with Chinese men for example (yours truly included) – no offence to the Chinese guys, they are nice and sweet but most foreign women would not view them as husband material.
15-20 years from now, when all these Asian-White children grow up, they may just have it easier to find mates among themselves as there will be loads and loads of them….
*Caucasian stands for populations of Europe, North Africa, West Asia, Central Asia, and South Asia – when I use Caucasian above it means Europeans and (few) South Asians. Hence I use Caucasian/ White to indicate I mean all “White” largely in the context of the above post. Asian above refers to people from Asia except South Asia.
p.s. I have not written this for a long time as I am worried that by mentioning this, this site will get blocked in China (much to Aadisht’s delight) just like blogger, blogspot, wordpress are all blocked here and it will be even more difficult to post views for people like me.
Also – I have very good Chinese women friends and I mean no offence to any Chinese women.