Right. The past few weeks I’ve been preoccupied with how to spend my upcoming end-of-year bonus. I’ve already bought a bed and computer table, so my bedroom looks much less like a shantytown than it used to. Once a bookshelf comes in, furnishing will be mostly complete. Joy, no?
But that still leaves the kitchen undone. And with summer about to hit, I would like to be able to make milkshakes, juices, and cold coffee. Clearly, a mixie is called for.
Again, this calls for careful discrimination and planning. Should I purchase a cheap Sumeet or Jalpaan mixie, or should I go in for the pseuder Phillips or Morphy Brown models? This is not merely an economic decision. The Sumeet models look like something aunts would use, while the Morphy Brown Icon Dlx Mixer Grinder (click on through, it’s pretty) makes me gape open mouthed and indulge in Tim-The Toolman-Taylor like grunts of ‘More Power!’
Considering I’m a grossly overpaid MBA, money is hardly a problem. So the Icon Dlx ought to be a shoe-in. Except for the minor problem that my mum drew my attention to: no matter how brutal it is, it won’t juice citrus fruits. That needs a separate juicer. Like this one. Tragedy!
The tragedy is not that I can’t afford the extra kilorupee, but that my kitchen countertop just doesn’t have the space for two machines. I could squeeze it in, but then I wouldn’t be able to squeeze a microwave in a couple of months down the line. Woreshter and woreshter.
So I was in a quandary. Until I saw this rear windshield sticker in my office’s parking lot:
Woohoo! This is the answer! Damn Morphy Richards- what I need is Jesus in the kitchen. Milkshakes- check. Cold coffee- check. Orange Juice- check, baby, check. And if he meets all my needs, he’ll do the dishes and make dinner as well. No need to keep the maids on payroll anymore. Such awesomeness.
Clearly, we all need to let Jesus into our kitchens.