Eurocentricism is Dead

May 6, 2007

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is being remade as a live action martial arts movie.

Okay, anybody remember this one particular Time-Life encyclopaedia set for kids? It had ten volumes out of which one was nothing but stories and all the stories were European folktales. Nothing from Native American myth, or Indian myth, or Persian myth, or any other myth. Everything was about billy goats and trolls and Black Forest witches and whatnot.

And now the European folktales are being given a Chinese spin to keep them fresh. I love it.


The World is a Weird Place

April 14, 2007

Three links.

First, via Pharyngula, I discover the worst fantasy story in the world. As the transcriptor writes:

No mere transcription can give the true flavor of the original printing of The Eye of Argon. It was mimeographed with stencils cut on an elite manual typewriter. Many letters were so faint as to be barely readable, others were overstruck, and some that were to be removed never got painted out with correction fluid. Usually, only one space separated sentences, while paragraphs were separated by a blank line and were indented ten spaces. Many words were grotesquely hyphenated. And there were illustrations — I cannot do them justice in mere words, but they were a match for the text.

I can vouch for that. Here’s just one sample:

A gaunt skull faced priest standing at the far side of the altar clutched desperately at his throat, coughing furiously in an attempt to catch his breath. Lurching helplessly to and fro, the acolyte pitched headlong against the gleaming base of a massive jade idol. Writhing agonizedly against the hideous image, foam flecking his chalk white lips, the priest struggled helplessly – – – the victim of an epileptic siezure.

Startled by the barbarians stunning appearance, the chronic fit of their fellow, and the fear that Grignr might be the avantgarde of a conquering force dedicated to the cause of destroying their degenerated cult, the saman momentarily lost their composure. Giving vent to heedless pandemonium, the priests fell easy prey to Grignr’s sweeping arc of crimsoned death and maiming distruction.

Stunning, no?

Next, via DealBreaker, I find what is rumoured to be the HSBC Company Song (mp3, 2.77 MB). Lyrics:

 Let’s live it!
H! S! B! C! Live it!

We have the HSBC vision
putting what we’ve learned into action

With focus and commitment
for our customers through passion
Let’s stay number one
With a vision we will run
With a strategy and energy
Together we will be
HSBC you and me 

I’m sorry, I can’t go on further. But I’m overjoyed. Go HSBC! What is an extra billion and a half dollars in bad debt provisioning compared to the might of your company song?

Last up, the Simon World blogpost on Nail Houses. Some developer tried to acquire houses, but one guy refused to sell. Check out the picture, you’ll understand.


Cricketers Will Never, Never, Never Be Slaves

April 5, 2007

The Jagathguru says:

I hope cricket doesn’t follow the same path. Already the game of cricket is more about money than the actual game itself. If this initiative succeeds, it will be only money where the slaves (cricketers playing for the team owners) will fight out for the kings (team owners).

Three posts later, the Jagathguru also says:

The board should make the players pay for their failures. They cannot take their places for granted.

You might conclude that he is advocating that the players be slaves to the board instead of slaves of club or league owners. But that is only because you are free market fundamentalists. You cannot Think Deeply.


Pissing Off Everybody

March 18, 2007

Human Rights Watch has a report out which says that discrimination against Dalits is equivalent to apartheid. This is patently stupid, since apartheid was institutionalised by the South African state, whereas at least legally, the Indian state is constitutionally bound to discriminate for Dalits. (The fact that is fucks the implementation up is a separate matter altogether.) Anyway, I foresee a lot of people getting offended by this, especially the Hindutva types. But check out what HRW wrote in the press release:

“International scrutiny is growing and with it the condemnation of abuses resulting from the caste system and the government’s failure to protect Dalits,” said Brad Adams, Asia director at Human Rights Watch. “India needs to mobilize the entire government and make good on its paper commitments to end caste abuses. Otherwise, it risks pariah status for its homegrown brand of apartheid.” (emphasis mine)

This is fucking hilarious, in the context of this:

Though our Acts prohibits the derogatory usage of the words such as `pariah’, the people in media still continues to use it in a casual manner. They must learn some lessons from countries like America where the Blacks were called once as `nigger’. Now they use `African Americans’ to identify Black people. This kind of insensitivity should not be tolerated. I request everybody to share my pain and come forward to feel like a `pariah’.

This rocks. HRW will piss off both the Hindutva loonies and the Dalit loonies. If the Dalit Panthers attack HRW for being politically incorrect and insulting Dalit sentiments I will weep tears of delight.

HRW is not the only organisation which manages to piss off two usually antagonistic sets of people. Camlin does it too. Charu Kesi is outraged that their permanent marker ad glorifies regressive behaviour:

Yes, really permanent. Widowhood, breaking of bangles, erasing of sindoor… the works. In the last scene, the poor man comes back to life, else what would have been the next shot in the ad, I wonder – sati? Even “worse”, what if the poor man does not come back to life, and the bindi does not got erased? What a blow to Indian culture that would have been…

but the Rational Fool thinks that it mocks orthodox Hindus:

I wonder if the lawyer from Indore, who recently sued the former Indian cricketer Ravi Sastri for hurting the sentiments of the Hindu faithfuls by extolling the virtues of eating biltong, had noticed the Camlin ad!

This rocks too. I have visions of angry feminists attacking the Camlin HQ from the front side and RSS workers attacking from the back side, charging their way through cubicle space until they eventually read the CEO’s cabin and pulverize him between the two of them. It will be like Unhygenix and Fulliautomatix setting aside their differences when it comes to the big punch-up in the last few pages of an Asterix book.

Of course, when it comes to pissing off people who are usually at odds, the Chinese were way ahead in the game.


Pork on an Industrial Scale

February 12, 2007

Via Instapundit, I found this Popular Mechanics story about a process to grow sheets of pork from stem cells.

You know where this is going to lead, don’t you? Eventually someone will figure out that if you can do it with pig cells, you can do it with human cells as well. And then we’re going to have our bright, Transmetropolitan-like future where cannibalism is chic and there are fast food chains dedicated to serving up choice cuts of human flesh.

Transmetropolitan_20_p16

On a more serious note, if this technology ever does get commercialised, it’ll be awesome. And not just for meat, but for vegetarian stuff as well. The concept of factory made flour or meat does sound disturbing, but the environmental advantages could be immense. Think of all the farm and ranch space you could turn over for forestry.


A Surfeit of Pigs

February 6, 2007

Apparently, being born in the Year of the Pig is lucky, and Chinese couples will be trying hard to have their sanctioned one child this year. The government is worried that there will be so many babies born this year that the healthcare and educational systems will be overwhelmed. It’s asked everyone to go easy on the procreation.

Words fail me.

(Link via Simon World)


I Am No Match For Realilty

January 20, 2007

It’s just twenty days into 2007, and already the I&B ministry has banned AXN, riots have broken out in Bangalore over Saddam Hussein’s hanging, and people are protesting about perceived racist insults to Shilpa Shetty. Why did I even bother writing this post? It just can’t compare to real life.


I Propose A Contest

January 19, 2007

…between the KTs and the Tams to see who gets more offended by Germaine Greer. The Tams, bless them, have already been insulted that Germaine Greer has elevated a mere Mangalorean to the master race. The contest can start properly once Mangaloreans get wild at Germaine Greer confusing one of them for people who couldn’t make a decent fish curry to save their life. We can keep score by seeing who burns more state transport buses. And if Crocodile Hunter fans want to join in, all the more fun.