Leave The Gun, Take the Meen Moily

Some arbit googling led to this wonderful page: a history of organized crime in the Indo-Canadian community.

Please note, that Indo-Canadian is somewhat misleading. It is very much Sardar-Canadian. And not just any Sardars but only Jatts. Even in Kaneda the Jatts have refused to let the Paapes join in the fun.

I read on Sepia Mutiny once that Vancouver is the only city outside India where the local organized crime syndicate is run by Indians. While the thought of the Sardar mafia running Vancouver is interesting in and of itself, what is far more interesting is the dog that didn’t bark: why is Vancouver the only city, and why are Jatts the only immigrant community to set up a mafia? One has to ask – what the hell are the Mallus doing?

Consider the facts. True, Sardars dominate migration to Canada. But the Mallus are even further ahead when it comes to migration to the Gulf. Why is there no Mallu mafia in Abu Dhabi? Why does a Google search for Malayali organized crime throw up no worthwhile results? Are all the Mallus law-abiding? Or is the truth more sinister: nobody dares to talk about the Mallu mafia.

I quite like the idea of a Mallu mafia. The Don would of course be one of those grave, portly Mallus, all moustache and gold bangles and black suit and sunglasses. He would be flanked by his enforcers, who would be muscular and lungi-clad and would go to Kerala to dance in paddy fields while surrounded by Mallu maidens on their breaks from beating up laundry owners. It is really quite pleasing to imagine.

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