At the peremptory request and desire of Spunky that I take more photographs of desserts, I went to IndiJoe this evening to eat and photograph a Chocolate Avalanche. IndiJoe had big screens up on every wall playing the India-Bermuda match, so I saw a cricket match after what must have been four or five years. And I have only one comment: why the faak hasn’t Bermuda been playing international cricket until now?
Let’s face it. All sports are boring, but cricket is especially so. It’s five entire days (one if you’re lucky) of people hitting a ball and chasing it. You have to ask yourself what the point of it all is. Why not just give the ball a rest? You’ll probably get more exercise with forty minutes of cardio at the gym, and the gym will have more cute women also.
But along comes Bermuda and suddenly cricket is entertaining. When the people running after the ball and fat roly-poly black men, cricket is no longer a Harold Pinter play with deathly boring pauses and silences but slapstick in the best traditions of Hong Kong kung fu movies. What this sport has always needed is blacker and fatter men and finally it has got it. Clearly the next thing on the agenda is to throw out all the white people and institute carb-heavy diets for everyone left.