More Fuel on the Mommyblog Fire

Two points:

First, Falstaff is a cheap guy. He talks about Coase and childfree-airline tickets without referencing me.

Second, a more important point about mommyblogs in general.

I’ve been discussing this point with junta, and the consensus seems to be that kids will become irritating when they are given too much attention. The more attention a kid gets from its parents, the more it thinks of itself. It becomes spoilt, throws tantrums, and eventually the Kansa Society has to be called in.

This is also probably the reason why kids in Delhi and Chennai are the worst behaved. They’re brought up in environments full of doting female relatives. Jobless doting female relatives, who do nothing but stay at home. In the case of Chennai, because they actually are unemployed, and in the case of Delhi, because employment for Delhi women usually means fraud stay-at-home stuff like garment designing. With non-stop attention lavished upon it, the kid becomes a monster. While in Bombay, both the parents are off at work, the kid has to fend for itself, and grows up a clean and sober Goregaon type personality, with excellent social skills, and a bindaas attitude. In my months in Bombay, I saw Gujew aunties abusing Landmark for stocking books. I saw people expectorating with enthusiasm. I saw Jain monks in a fistfight. But I never saw kids throwing tantrums.

I have seen this with my own nephews and nieces also. The one who curls up with a Roald Dahl and generally doesn’t talk is the one whose parents are a doctor and a physiotherapist, and who therefore hardly see him. On the other hand, the Nephew Who Bites has lived his entire life with a stay-at-home mother, a stay-at-home grandmother, a drop-in-practically-ceaselessly grandmother, and a father who is an ameer-baap-ki-bigdi-aulaad, and so doesn’t need to work. Between these extremes, I have a soft-spoken and well-behaved niece whose parents run the nine-to-five gamut. And where I’m concerned, Ma and Papa used to just leave me alone and whack me every once in a while, and I am now a model of manners, rectitude, decency and sobriety. So much so, that people refuse to believe that I’m Punjabi.

Anyway, the point of all this is that a surplus of attention turns kids into monsters, fit only for slaughter by the Kansa Society.

And when it comes to giving kids too much attention, mommyblogging is the pinnacle. Think about it. You devote an entire blog to the kid, and nothing but the kid. And while in the normal course of things, the kid forgets the attention it gets as an infant, here the attention is public, archived, and up to be accessed at will. The Little Emperor generation created by the Chinese one-child policy will be as nothing compared to the generation created by mommyblogging. Legions of spoilt brats will stalk the nation, thinking too much of themselves.

Mommybloggers have a lot to answer for.

0 Responses to More Fuel on the Mommyblog Fire

  1. […] intolerant of children? Posted by the mad momma under Uncategorized   Somebody sent me this link and I thought it would be nice to address the issues considering I fit almost all the stereotypes […]

  2. neha says:

    I am not sure this post makes much sense. When you make random statements about children being raised by “doting jobless females” – do you have any numbers to back that up? I can think of some very annoying friends who had parents who had office jobs. I can think of some very kind and considerate people who had stay at home parents.

    What do you mean by “too much attention”? At what point do you draw the line? In terms of hours, or as a percentage of total written content?

    This point about women being too bloody soft to be able to discipline children smacks of misogyny. If anything, kids need a lot more attention to be devoted to them. I’d rather have a happy kid than some starved of attention.

  3. Aadisht says:


    nope. No numbers. I was ranting and extrapolating wildly. The same thing holds with the ‘too much attention’ bit. Also racist I might be, but misogynist I am not. I never made the point about women being too soft to discipline children.

    Maybe I should have used the word ‘indulgence’ instead of ‘attention’.

  4. birdseyeview says:

    I have no idea why you set out to be deliberately offensive in speaking about mommy bloggers or kids. But when you hint that kids brought up by stay at home moms are worse behaved than those with working parents, you’re way offbase and generalizing wildly. it all depends on what the parents do and how they bring up the child. And as for mommybloggers – first of all, they happen to be thinking, intelligent women who have chosen to blog about their children, among many other things – and they do it in their own space, not yours. Don’t like it, don’t read it. Secondly, how exactly are they spoiling their children by blogging about them – again, it’s not like the child know anything about it while he/ she is little, and even when they’re older, they are more likely to be annoyed by it than proud. Moreover, if you look at mommyblogs, you will see that they are not a hypercompetitive set of women who’re going on about lookamybaby, he’s the best, but blogging about the many aspects of parenting, which, whether you’re a working woman or stay-at-home mom, does become the most important thing you’ve done in your life. But I guess you will only understand that once you have kids.

  5. IBH says:

    Aadisht, dont know what actually made you write this post..but heres what it is…wait till you have your first one (if you do not have one already) and let us see how the tables turn 🙂

  6. Aqua says:

    I agree with MM when she talks about the ‘implicit gender discrimination’ in your post. What gets my goat is this attitude that some male bloggers have about women dumbing down the blogosphere.

    “Jobless doting female relatives, who do nothing but stay at home”…this line summarizes your perception of women who actually are home-makers. A home is like a smale-scale industry and the woman who runs it is CEO, operations manager + CFO. That’s a lot of hats to wear and juggle. Jobless, i think not! I fear that your current perception also flows into your style of functioning and thinking in the office space vis-a-vis women.

    It’s sad that these are the male stereotypes and attitudes. we have to deal with in the corporate male-dominating working world, and everywhere else!

  7. davenchit says:

    Benign neglect makes children grow wiser.

    Of course my well-known views on the nutritional value of infants hasn’t influenced me in saying this. Oh, no.

  8. Smita says:

    Your post/attitude brings to light the sort of upbringing YOU had with never existent parents to correct your attitude!!

  9. Aqua says:

    @Smita: let’s not get into personal attacks. it takes away from the sanctity of the discussion!

  10. Karishma says:

    After reading this post, one thing that stands out is that in spite of (or is it because of?) your upbringing, you are sorely lacking in the qualities of compassion, understanding, empathy, or tolerance for people who have different life circumstances than yours…Your use of of the word “It” to refer to children is proof enough!

  11. N. N. P says:

    Aadisht you are being most silly. The more time they spend mommyblogging (and papablogging, or whatever it’s called), the less time they have to take the kids out in public, thus subjecting the rest of us to them.

    IBH, how original. Because everyone, eventually, has to have children, right? Everyone settles into exactly the same pattern of adulthood, and then, magically, everyone shares your views!

  12. What I find most deplorable is your attitude to working moms and the assumptions that accompany the attitude – despite having graduated from an institute like your own, despite the upbringing that you boast of and despite the chance to meet the kind of women that b-school gave you the chance to interact with, def given how few and talented the women are who finally make it to these institutions.

    I’m a gung-ho career person today who in all probability will stay at home to be with my kids when I do have them. Will that make you respect me less? Will that dumb me down in your eyes?

    And really, when you see the MadMomma’s response to your post, don’t you also wanna whoop in joy at the quality of her writing? Despite being obviously angry, it shows tremendous restraint and atleast an attempt at objectivity. Where’s yours?

  13. WA says:

    YaYYY I am work full time, haven’t got time nor energy to blog about the munchkin, so according to this post that makes me a good mum and my little one will grow up not thinking too much of himself. Thank God for that. Thats one worry off my mind now 🙂

  14. Vivek Kumar says:


    After reading this post, one thing that stands out is that in spite of (or is it because of?) your upbringing, you are sorely lacking in the qualities of compassion, understanding, empathy, or tolerance for people who have different life circumstances than yours…Your use of of the word “It” to refer to children is proof enough!

    I believe the relevant lines are:

    The more attention a kid gets from its parents, the more it thinks of itself. It becomes spoilt, throws tantrums, and eventually the Kansa Society has to be called in.

    Would you care to elaborate on the correct substitute for “it” in these two sentences, and also throw some light on why “it” is incorrect in this context?

  15. Aadisht says:

    birdseyeview: because mommybloggers are so entertaining when they are offended.

    IBH: given that I have a family history of diabetes, cancer, bipolar disorder, Alzheimer’s disease, weak bones, and cardiac disease, it would be very irresponsible of me to pass on my genes. I don’t plan to breed.

    Smita: Apparently, you believe that the responsibility of parents is to indoctrinate their children with the correct attitude. How charming.

    Karishma: No, I don’t. Foolish qualities like compassion and tolerance have no use in establishing a system of Saivite neo-Edwardian imperial republics. Or, for that matter, arousing Dread Cthulhu from His eternal slumber.

    N. N. P: You have a point. Still, getting mommybloggers’s goats is so much fun

    Unpredictable: No, I don’t want to whoop in joy. It’s long-winded, pompous, and paranoid.

    WA: Glad to be of service.

  16. Extempore says:

    I most certainly disagree with everything you have to say about mommy bloggers, so I’m not going to get into “how could you have made such sweeping generalisations” and “how silly is this argument anyway?”. Instead, what I’d like to know is this: which Bombay are you talking about?

    I’ve lived here 27 years and I’ve seen a number of children – and adults – throw tantrums or make a fuss in public spaces. It’s a ludicrous claim to make about any city, especially about Bombay where people are piled one on top of another!
    Tch, there I go, down the “how silly is this argument” road.

  17. Smita says:

    Good to know that u are not planning to breed…thank god for lil mercies!!

  18. Chan says:

    Unmitigated entertainment, Madman! Women of the world, the Madman is out a-baiting, and you all are a-falling hook, line n sinker!

  19. Kunal says:

    You… you… Baron Bombast of Vulgaria!!!!!

  20. mommyblogger says:

    Cannot imagine that a brilliant guy like you can have such vitriolic views on women and kids.
    you got my goat … and i hope the bleating keeps you up all night!
    – a mommyblogger

  21. Kunal says:

    All your goat are belong to us.

  22. Not a mommyblogger says:

    Hey, I’m a mommy (new one at that, less than a year) and I think you’re funny, and bang-on about a few things. Now I’m going to be anonymous otherwise the mommies will pelt me, but I think they need to be a little less serious about mommyhood too.

  23. […] January 22, 2008 · No Comments We don’t like Blog fights. […]

  24. […] the article she was referring to. I am totally disgusted and appauled by this person’s blog and technically he needs to apologise to all th mommy bloggers. Here is my take on what I he […]

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