It is very gratifying to have your irrational prejudices validated. Happily, this has been happening a lot recently.
The first of my prejudices to be validated was the one I bore against ghazals. This isn’t anything to do with their Moslem origin. After all, Islam has also brought us excellent things like qawaalis, kebabs, and Islamic banking (which generates jobs for TamBrahms).
I started out with mere indifference towards ghazals. Then Seashell on Residency Road had the bright idea of keeping a very bad ghazal party to sing and take requests from diners. I hate live music during food. The music distracts from the food and the food distracts from the music. And bad ghazals distracting from really great Mangalore fish curry is particularly annoying. Since then, I have borne an animus against the genre as a whole.
So Jagjit Singh’s recent WTF antics and puking on first Adnan Sami and then A R Rahman and Gulzar are pleasing. I shall use them forevermore to point out that ghazals are beastly and no good can come out of anything or anybody associated with them.
Next, we have vegetarians. I had already blogged about P G Wodehouse’s quote on vegetarianism souring the disposition, and how this could explain the tendency of Gujews to go out and slaughter each other. Now we have further evidence in the form of Varun Gandhi. Maneka Gandhi not only brought him up vegetarian, she cut off his milk supply. Is it surprising then that he gets his jollies from cutting off peoples’ hands?
Now, I am eagerly awaiting the results of the Lok Sabha elections. If the Samajwadi Party wins any significant amount of seats after releasing their Talibanesque anti-computer and anti-English manifesto, I will use it as ammunition for my dismissal of UP types as uneducated wankers determined to pull themselves and everyone else down into mediocrity. Such joy.
Excellent post….
“I will use it as ammunition for my dismissal of UP types as uneducated wankers determined to pull themselves and everyone else down into mediocrity.”
I am already convinced ! Same goes for Bihar, Jharkhand, parts of W. Bengal, Orissa, and of course Bangladesh (since their citizens vote in our elections), Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka – we are truly surrounded by idiots – inside and outside
Joyous indeed.
If not for the Gujaratis would we ever have the shameful piece of dry patty disguised as a burger@McVeggie. The Texans would die of sorrow if they ever realized what we have reduced their lovely snack to. It’s spoiling an entire nation’s appetite. And don’t even get me started on Vegetable Biryanis. Seriously, how much discredit will we do to the barbaric marsh Arabs would came up with the novel ideal the rice and meat mix? They must feel so let down.
What about Chinese Bhel? Argh.
I support the banishment of the UPites along with the Gujaratis. I mean think about it, with no allahabadi to make bhel and no ahemdabadi to eat it, we will at least have a decent culinary culture in this city.
and what prejudice do you have against Marwaris? it would be worth pondering 🙂
raag, After a year and a half of doing customer service to Marwaris I no longer have any prejudice against the whole group. Now I have finer grained prejudice based on whether they’re steel traders, pharma traders, toy traders, or run industrial conglomerates.
Scherezade, indeed! Bombay must be cleansed of everyone who is not a Parsee.
Dhansak for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Dikra, thats cruel and unusual punishment.
I don’t think I like Farsi-ees either. Scrunched up faces. Volatile temperament. Pitchy voices and diastrous karaoke themed birthday parties. Grandparents who will outlive you. Terrible pets. Bad furniture. Men who look like women. Women who look like men. Plus, weird mating habits, one hears.
No. No. They too must go back to Persepolis.
Agha Shahid Ali?