Ram Rajya

October 25, 2007

Under Ram Rajya, the ruler derives the moral authority to rule from the consent of the subjects. This sounds wonderful, but people fail to realise that legitimacy is derived from adherence to the truth, and not from popular support.

Ram Rajya meant that the vocal disapproval of a single washerman led to Ram abandoning Sita, without bothering to examine the truth or the facts.

Today, the vocal disapproval of Prakash Karat has led to the government abandoning the nuclear deal, despite the obvious benefits. We have finally achieved Ram Rajya. Manmohan Singh has accomplished what the BJP failed to do.


I Want to be a Young Man in Spats

October 25, 2007

Skimpy claims that monsoonal rains follow the Gregorian solar calendar, while post-monsoonal autumn showers follow the Hindu lunar calendar. Thus, there is always rainfall at the time of Dasara, whenever that might be, while the monsoons always show up in June. Every three years, when the leap month is added to bring the lunar year back into sync with the solar year, this manifests itself as a longer and dryer summer.

The reason I bring this up is that due to the Dasara rains, my trousers have been spattered with mud even before I reached office. As is usual after 10 millimetres of rainfall, Magrath Road is now a dirt track, and the traffic passing over it has left my lower right trouser leg looking like a Jackson Pollock painting – if Jackson Pollock would have used brown.

For a banker of repute, having such indignities visited upon his trousers is intolerable. One cannot convince customers of the virtues of zero-cost options unless one’s trousers are spotless, starched, and straight. The cry goes out: what to do, what to do?

Fortunately, we do not need to come up with new solutions that will impose heavy research and testing costs. The answer lies in our past, and we can reach back and grab it. Ladies and gentlemen: spats.

As the Master wrote:

Spatterdashes was, I believe, their full name, and they were made of white cloth and buttoned round the ankles, partly no doubt to protect the socks from getting dashed with spatter but principally because they lent a sort of gay diablerie to the wearer’s appearance. (link

Remarkable, no? My trousers are protected from spatter, my appearance borrows a gay diablerie, and best of all, I promote Edwardian values:

This is pointed out to me every time a new book of mine dealing with the Drones Club of Jeeves and Bertie is published in England. “Edwardian!” the critics hiss at me. (It is not easy to hiss the word Edwardian, containing as it does no sibilant, but they manage it.)

I will now rant about the importance of Edwardian values. 

Read the rest of this entry »


Congratulations, Amit

October 25, 2007

Amit Varma has won the Bastiat prize.

Joyous as this is, I can’t help but wonder if and when someone will come up with a Miss World-style conspiracy theory that an Indian has won only to promote a neoliberal agenda in India.

(The original conspiracy theory was that Indian beauty queens were winning Miss World and Miss Universe titles only because cosmetics companies were trying to push sales in the Indian market. If there’s a country which liberalised cosmetics imports and retail at the same time as India, but didn’t win any beauty pageants, this could actually be tested.)


Thio Li-Ann Nails It

October 25, 2007

Speaking against the decriminalisation of gay sex, Singapore MP Thio Li-Ann says:

Consent to harmful acts is no defence – otherwise, our strong anti-drug laws must fall as it cannot co-exist with letting in recreational drugs as a matter of personal lifestyle choice [..]

(via)

Exactly. The next time you abuse libertarians for being idiots who want to legalise drugs, and free up gun ownership, and do other such nasty things, please remember that once you give a government the moral authority to ban things that are bad for you, you give it the moral authority to ban everything, including who you have sex with.


Before 7

October 24, 2007

Gak! Radio Indigo plays devotional songs before 7 am! Eldritch horror! So much for the biggest international hits.

What makes it worse is that these are all Ram bhajans. I look upon this with  disapproval. India is a Saivite country. Why is Indigo trying to spread Vaishnavism? I demand that the scope of any anti-conversion ordinance that comes up in the future be expanded to a ban on Ram bhajans.

Also, putting gym in the morning rocks. 9.5 Kmph for twenty two and a half minutes on the treadmill, followed by ninety crunches, and a hot water shower, and then directly to office with breakfast in between. Are.


The Loins of Punjab

October 22, 2007

A government study has discovered that Punjab has the most obese women in India.

I, of course, had blogged about this more than four years ago, in what was the first instance of the phrase ‘two number aloo parathas’ making it to the web:

The average Punjabi believes that the full-fledged, genuine Punjabi peasant girl is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. In this matter I find myself in disagreement with the average Punjabi. The full-fledged, genuine Punjabi peasant girl, after a lifetime of tucking into “two numbers aloo paranthas” and very often even more for breakfast, is the possessor of several cubic metres of backside, and usually has more facial hair than the average Punjabi peasant boy.

Rediff link via BRacket from Chan Da Man. Oh, and all posts from March 2003 are now on WordPress.


Jerry Rao

October 18, 2007

One of the disadvantages of being in South India is that you get the New Indian Express instead of the Indian Express. Missing Tavleen Singh and Jerry Rao’s columns is a gigantic opportunity loss. Especially when Jerry Rao writes columns like this one:

As writers, Rudyard Kipling and Salman Rushdie are far apart in time and style. And yet they share something in common. The underlying theme of their great novels Kim and The Moor’s Last Sigh is the same. The theme quite simply is India itself.

…

Whether he acknowledged it fully or not, Kipling was a child of India and his writings are literally drenched with India. Kim can be seen as the retelling of the Krishna legend.

The nice thing about Jerry Rao is that he manages to approach stuff from completely fresh perspectives. So even if you disagree with his conclusions, you’ve broadened your horizons a little bit. It’s like he adds new tools to your intellectual toolbox, instead of sharpening the ones already there.


A Crisis of Faith for the Devout

October 18, 2007

Jagadguru has insulted Thalaivar.

For His devotees, this is a crisis of faith. Now that He has mocked Thalaivar, should we abandon him also? Thalaivar has laid the foundations of morality for a generation. Can we abandon the prophet who provided us a moral compass until He appeared to show us the path Himself?

Mysterious are the ways of the Lord, who demeans His own prophet. And yet, this is a test for His bhakts. Just as He once commanded Yudhishtra to abandon his dog, and Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, so does He now expect us to spurn Thalaivar. At the last minute, he shall stay us, and show us the Truth. Unless, of course, we fall into the trap of free market fundamentalism.

Blessed is the Jagadguru!


Airtel EDGE

October 17, 2007

Does anybody actually use EDGE on Airtel? If so,

  • what do you actually do with it?
  • what kind of speed do you get?
  • how do you activate it?

Your answers will help me form a decision about whether I should break the habit of four years and buy a high-end phone.

(Specifically, is it feasible to use it to Twitter and blog on WordPress? You know the sort of posts I write, so keep that in mind, please.)


India: Everything to Play For

October 17, 2007

All the business newspapers (links: Mint, Business Standard) are shagging over the Lehman Brothers report titled India: Everything to Play For. The report says that India’s GDP can grow at 10% a year for the next ten years, given the right reforms.

I’m about halfway through the report, and I have to say this: it’s awful.

The report reminds me of the draft Strategy term papers we submitted for the midterm review back in first year at IIMB. Our profs then abused each and every group for doing nothing but pulling in factoids and graphs from every analyst report we could lay our hands on, and not doing any analysis or linking of concepts of our own.

This report is very similar. The people who wrote it don’t seem to have met a factoid or a graph they don’t love. They’ve dumped in stuff from Pavan K Varma’s Being Indian, other stuff from the Tarapore Committee report, and even quoted a Hindustan Times real estate supplement. They have done some statistical analysis of their own, but that particular analysis seems to just float in space. It doesn’t serve as either a premise, or a conclusion or an intermediate step.

This has just gone on and on for seventy pages (I have a hundred more to get through). Each page contains a diagram or fact which is very interesting by itself, but there seems to be no actual analysis which shows how that fact or diagram supports the assertion made in the first chapter that the Indian economy can grow beyond 10% on a sustained basis.

There are also appalling non-sequiturs. Like the claim that the growth of the Indian telecom industry is illustrated by Nokia putting up its handset factory near Chennai in only five months. Completing a factory in five months can be taken as evidence of better construction techniques, or project management, or even the virtues of prefabricated sheds. But how does it demonstrate telecom growth? And why talk about Nokia’s factory when you could just show subscriber numbers (actually, they have shown those also. Which just increases my suspicion that they’ve thrown in every factoid they could find.)?

I suspect I’m particularly irritated by this report because I already know most of the factoids they’ve thrown in. Unlike the Percy Mistry report, there are no explosive new and big ideas. Hell, even Goldman Sachs’ BRICs report pointed out that India could push up its GDP growth rate by 2.5% over the existing rate with a set of five key reform measures (can’t recall the exact details now, might update the post with links later). This feeling will probably be shared by everyone who watches the Indian economy regularly. On the other hand, the CEOs and Heads of Strategy who aren’t familiar about the ‘India story’ and who get their fundaes on it from this report will probably go orgasmic over it.

A final point: The report is stored in a section of Lehman’s website called ‘Our Intellectual Capital’. Given how there’s so little original research and so many borrowed factoids in the report, Lehman’s intellectual capital seems to be more debt than equity. The investment banking strategy of high leverage seems to have spread over to their research divisions as well.