Curses! Foiled again!

January 9, 2006

Aqua has discovered the Pompous Libertarian conspiracy to defame Chetan Bhagat’s excellent writing skills. Dammit!

We Pompous Libertarians were hoping to inflame our attacks on Chetan Bhagat into a full-fledged blogosphere war, eventually resulting in a Desipundit sticky post. While the rest of the blogosphere would have been preoccupied with attacking or defending Bhagat, we would have stealthily carried out the next step in our plan for complete world domination.

But now that Aqua has outed us, we’ll just have to think of some other diversionary tactics. I hate it when that happens.


Heh

January 8, 2006

I’ve got this far without a single cussword. I deserve to be rewarded, lauded, applauded. Now my post is only as abrasive as TravelTalesFromIndia’s comments.


The Karnataka-Tamil Nadu Rivalry

January 5, 2006

Attention readers with broadband connections! Please download these two videos and vote for the more awesome one in the comments.

Tamil Superstar Rajnikanth in Aasai Nooru

Thalaivar Rajnikanth in Aasai Nooru. (7.21 MIB)

Annavru Rajkumar in If You Come Today

Annavru Rajkumar in If You Come Today (2.36 MB).


How stupid does he think we are?

January 1, 2006

For the past three weeks I have been struggling to come up with a post that can accurately describe just how bad One Night @ The Call Center is. And I have come to the conclusion that it isn’t possible. This post simply cannot begin to explain how awful ON@TCC is.

Still, I’ll try.

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Singapore Diaries I: Shopping

December 31, 2005

Yes, I know that I’ve been back in India for two weeks already. In my defense, I’ve been trying to write other posts, but writer’s block and all that means I’ve decided to just get the Singapore posts over and done with, and hopefully I’ll be able to kickstart myself on the others.

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Red Underpants and the Breasts of Power

December 6, 2005

Singapore newspapers are like Mid-Day. On steriods. They start at 40 pages, and weigh about a kilo, and look as if they’ve been written by earnest and well-meaning twelve year old students.

Check out this dreamlike prose, from a The New Paper article on an awards ceremony.

Superstitions and lucky charms were abound as the stars crossed their fingers for a chance to go home with one of the blown-glass trophies.
Bryan, 34, credited his Best Comedy Performer and Top Ten Most Popular Male Artiste wins to his red underwear.
He even yanked out the top part of his red underwear from underneath his pants to show reporters backstage.
A gleeful Bryan said: “My fengshui adviser called me up this morning to tell me that I must wear red underwear because red is my lucky colour today. So I rushed down to Hereen to specially buy a pair. He also said I should visit someone in the east, so I went all the way back to the east to my sister’s home, changed into the red underwear, before heading here (to MediaCorp).”

Meanwhile, Yifeng thought her red hair- which she had dyed just that morning- could have brought her luck.
And of course, Kym helped too.
“I’ve never won anything in my life, not in any contest whatsoever, but Kym came to me this morning, and grabbed my breasts saying that she was passing all her ‘power’ to me,” said Yifeng.
“I must really thank her. If not for her deliberately playing bimbo all the time, how can I show off my smarts?”.


Data Mining or Dumb Luck?

December 1, 2005

I got this SMS from Airtel today:

Dear customer, Congrats! In appreciation of your long-standing association,we have actvd ISD facility without any additional deposit, w.e.f 23-Nov-05. Thank you

I wish Airtel wouldn’t use SMS-ese in their offficial messages. It’s irritating. But that aside, I’m thrilled I’ve finally got ISD without having to shell out a deposit. I’m on a peculiar plan- it’s a postpaid plan meant for salaried people, but the Airtel sales office offered it to IIMB students. The problem with that is that to activate long distance calls to landlines, or international calls to any phone, you had to deposit your salary slip. Without a salary slip, you had to deposit ten thousand rupees. Ouch.

Anyway, their customer sercive centre calls me every two months or so and tries to sell me an add-on service. I usually decline, but when the call centre would ask if there’s something I’d rather have instead, I used to tell them how irritating it was not to have an ISD facility. Now, they’ve given it to me just for sticking on for fifteen months.

What is now intriguing me is- did they give this freebie to everyone who’s been on for fifteen months, and has paid bills (very substantial bills indeed at one point of time) promptly? Or, did the customer service rep actually flag the fact that I wanted ISD, enter it into their CRM package, which decided that I would like an ISD facility best when it went through the records and saw that I had been on the same connection for fifteen months. What’s more- is Airtel’s data mining smart enough to figure out that if the bulk of someone’s bill comes from national long distance calls, (s)he might be an even juicier prospect for international long distance?

I’m not too sure. Their Karnataka database was pathetic six months ago- the Airtel centre didn’t know how much I had on deposit, how long I’d had roaming, or how long I’d had my connection. My request to terminate roaming vanished into the ether, and I finally did it myself online when they revamped their website (which now works really well). Still, six months is a long time, and maybe they’ve refined their CRM a lot since then.

Does anybody know if this zero deposit on ISD has been offered to more people than me, or about Airtel’s CRM in general? Comment or drop me a line, please.


Happy Birthday Madhu!

November 30, 2005

Madman, who pretends to be mild-mannered webhost Madhu Menon when he’s not wielding his eight eleven-inch knives and body-slamming people, turns thirty the age that shall not be named today.

If you’re in Bangalore, I suggest you celebrate his birthday by eating at his peerless South East Asian restaraunt, Shiok.

Madhu, in the absence of a birthday present and my hosting fees, this little bit of publicity for Shiok will have to do. Happy Birthday.


The Foundation of Civilization

November 29, 2005

The word ‘civilization’ springs from the rood ‘civis’- city, that is. When you get down to it, urbanization and civilization are the same thing. Art and technology are born in the city. When you’re stuck in a village driving a buffalo across a field, you don’t have the time or inclination to come up with anything creative. Pataliputra saw Kautilya writing the Arthashastra, medieval Rome had Michaelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel and in present day New York Arthur Andersen invented creative accounting. The list goes on and on. What have the villages done in all that time? Ten years ago, rural Jalandhar tried, came up with Chamkila, and slunk off in embarassment, not to be heard of since then.

But what makes a city a city? What is the foundation on which civilization rests? What is the one thing that turns a big village into a small city? Who knows what this mysterious secret ingredient is?

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The Vegetarian Life

November 28, 2005

A guide to Singapore posted on the internal discussion group by our senior and former PlaceRep Jagmeet Piddu contains this immortal paragraph:

“Vegetarians: Since the Government wants Singapore to be the home to the superior individuals of this world, people at the bottom of the food chain are indirectly encouraged not to enter this paradise. Vegeterian stuff is strictly banned & all food must be cooked in chicken stock. Do not violate this law else you might find a 6 ft ‘rotan’ embellishing your bottom (much like Michael Fay for spray painting somebody else’s cars).”

Do I have great seniors or what?

Meanwhile, it turns out that dinosaurs in India used to be vegetarian.

And now they’re extinct. Am I the only one who sees a connection here?