An edited version of the article below appeared in the New Indian Express today. They cut a few lines, and I prefer my own paragraph breaks, but I have to give them credit for coming up with an awesome headline. Anyhow, here’s the article in its unedited form:
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Mirror Images of Greatness
August 8, 2008Infant Sacrifice Catches On
August 2, 2008The Kansa Society’s advocacy of the slaughter and consumption of children is making its way into the mainstream media. This is most pleasing.
First, Namy Roy informs me over GTalk that she had recently watched a TV interview of Tom Hanks. When asked how he managed to satisfy the audience all the time, Tom Hanks apparently said that the secret of his success was regular infant sacrifice. Joyous.
Next, Mr. D. sends me a link to this wonderful T-shirt, featuring an owl which wants to eat your children:
And finally, there is the new Mirinda ad, in which Zohra Sehgal expresses a desire to pickle infants with onions:
As gaspode points out, this diet explains that remarkable lady’s longevity.
New Digs
August 1, 2008In the name of Amibah, the most powerful, the most vengeful, I welcome you to www.wokay.in, the new home of Givvup Only Are There.
The shift over from aadisht.net has happened because:
- aadisht.net seems to be one a spam database and has been getting rogered by spambots the past few months. I kept going over my bandwidth quota, and the site would be down for half the month. Not fun. This domain name will hopefully remain off spamlists for a while. Even if it doesn’t, I now have eight times as much monthly bandwidth.
- I want to put sober and professional image at aadisht.net in case recruiters or admissions committees come looking. So after a month or so it’ll only have a resume and a writing portfolio.
- wokay.in sounds cooler. Ethnic chic are there.
Thus, please update your bookmarks, your blogrolls and your feed readers. Please note that:
- I am on a new server as well as having a new domain name. I have much more server space as well as much more bandwidth. I may use this for cool stuff, therefore. If I have the time.
- The feed for wokay.in runs off feedburner, and so my flickr photos and del.icio.us links are included automagically.
- I have finally updated my blogroll after years of masterful inactivity, and it’s now trimmer and lighter, and with fewer blogs that haven’t updated in months.
- The new server and domain do not automatically imply that I’ll post more. That will remain correlated to my level of NED.
The Raja-mandala Re-centred
July 15, 2008There has recently been a controversy in the Indian blogosphere about what the projection of power means. In the interests of enlightening lay readers, I asked my good friend and international relations expert Dr. Boris Bhartriraj Pandey to prepare a guide to power projection. Boris is currently a post-doctoral fellow at Parma, and his family background is even more impressive – his parents are the distinguished academics Dr. Acharya Somuchidononanda Pandey and Dr. Valentina Dimitrieva Pandey. He has written a short monograph on the subject at the Pandey family blog. It is also reproduced in it’s entirety here, with his permission:
The Turban Police
July 13, 2008I want to start a blog dedicated to badly dressed sardars. And call it Go Pug Yourself.
Karva Chauth and Kansa
July 8, 2008Over the past few years, Punjew men (axshully also Kayastha boyfriends of Punjew woomaans) have been fasting on Karva Chauth along with their wives and girlfriends. For some reason this is hailed as a triumph of women’s liberation and feminism.
This is bollocks. An equal sharing of foodlessness, dizziness and abstinence can hardly be considered a triumph of feminism. Wasn’t the whole point of feminism to make things better? All this does is spread the pain around more. If I was a paranoid maniac, I would suspect it was a sinister Allahabadi plot to make Punjew men week and feeble and incapable of rising up in glorious resistance. Wait, I am a paranoid maniac. Anyway.
The point is that true women’s liberation would involve nobody fasting and putting themselves through all that torture at all. If this was really a festival of louw, it would involve the couple going out and feeding each other rare delicacies. The idea would be to maximise pleasure, not pain.
Therefore, when the glorious Punjabi nation rises again, and throws off the cultural imperialism of the hated Allahbadis, Karva Chauth will be celebrated by the happy couple going out and feasting on a delicious infant platter for lunch. Instead of starving all day waiting for the moon to show up, Punjew couples will be eating babies through the day. Thus furthering three excellent causes: Saivite neo-Edwardianism, women’s liberation, and the continued growth of the Kansa Society.
Not Wasting Food
July 2, 2008Love Food Hate Waste has five tips on how to save money by not wasting food (via). Although the list has been designed with a UK audience in mind, some of the tips hold equally well for us junta sitting in India. For example:
Tinned beans, frozen vegetables, meat and fish and dried fruit, nuts, pasta & noodles, rice & grains, are all essentials with a long shelf life – meaning you will always have the ingredients standing by to pull together a delicious meal or to jazz up your leftovers. The trick is to replace items once you have used them up. It helps to keep a note stuck on the inside of the cupboard door – scribble down items as soon as you have finished them and check it when you write your shopping list.
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Planning your meals is one of the most effective ways you can cut wastage and food bills. Start by checking your fridge, freezer and store cupboard so you don’t shop for things you already have.
When I was in Bangalore, not planning my meals in the morning could lead to disaster. I would forget I had fruit or salad lying in the fridge, and then eat dinner out near office assuming there was nothing at home to prepare. By the next day, the salad would have spoilt, and I would have wasted the salad as well as the cost of the dinner out. Sticking a list of what I did have on the fridge door every weekend would have helped in the planning meals if I’d checked it every day and planned my dinner and breakfast according to it.
On a related note, it’s time to bring up another rant about refrigerators (people who read my mailing list know I do this often). Picking a refrigerator is fraught with peril. You’re always trading off convenience with expense and a tendency to waste.
I positively hate manual defrost refrigerators. If the light goes for extended periods (as it does so often in India) you wind up with a huge puddle on the kitchen floor. If you forget to defrost, whatever is in the freezer gets iced over and you have to go at it with a pickaxe. And I’m too much a twenty-first century types to remember to defrost the thing myself. That’s the fridge’s job, dammit!
Now unfortunately a frost-free fridge comes in large sizes and so uses more electricity than the manual defrost ones (in addition to being more expensive to begin with anyhow). The large size also means you have a tendency to throw stuff in there and then forget it’s there – as I did with my salads.
Fortunately, there are mitigants. You can cut down on the wasted electricity by filling the freezer with water bottles so all that energy goes to some use. And sticking a list of what’s in there on the fridge door could help you avoid forgetting it.
Extreme geekiness alert: In fact, if you wanted to truly power-use your fridge lists, you could create an individual Post-it for every item, and flip the Post-its around so that what you were planning to use in the evening would be right on top. The only way to be even geekier is to have a laptop in the kitchen and update your fridge MIS on an Excel sheet (or Google spreadsheets for that matter) as you remove stuff from the fridge and eat/ cook it. Sadly, my kitchen in Bangalore was too small to allow this. But I recommend it highly – a laptop in the kitchen also means you can download recipes.
The stuff I’ve written above does assume that:
- You do your food-buying-and-preparing yourself, instead of leaving it to your bai. Given how much people complain about the quality of their domestic help, they damn well ought to do it themselves instead of leaving it to their bai.
- You’re a relative newbie when it comes to managing your kitchen, and you haven’t internalised obvious stuff like remembering what you have already.
- You actually have a kitchen (so many people in Bombay just take dabbas and heat them) and give a shit about running it properly.
What with current trends of urbanisation, corporatisation, sararimanisation, growing numbers of young migrant professionals, growing salary demands of bais, yada yada, I think the number of people fulfilling the above conditions will grow. This is my yumble contribution to them. Maybe, I should set up a post/ page for useful kitchen tips.
If Aamir Khan Can Do It…
July 2, 2008Shortly after I woke up this morning, Diva jumped on to bed and started licking my hand.
The Judiciary Doesn’t Make the Top Ten
June 19, 2008This Goldman Sachs report on 10 things India needs to do to achieve its potential (via) is pretty good. I have two quibbles with it, though.
- How come judicial reforms and clearing the backlog of cases didn’t make it to the list? I realise this is a subjective measure of value, but I would have though this was more important than increasing trade with neighbours or increasing the number of universities.
- Chart 18 on Page 17 is weird. Does the fourth category of cereals represent the weighted average of the first three categories (rice, maize and paddy), other cereals, or all cereals. Not that this distracts from the overall point of the graph, which is that agricultural productivity in India is pathetic. It’s just an irritating fog in an otherwise decent report.
Desipundit, Poopi, and Disability
June 17, 2008Jagadguru’s latest post is a wondrous marvel. I reproduce it here in its entirety:
Only DP will link to such crappy review like the one they linked for Dasavatharam. The nutcase who reviewed is known for his ignorance and disability to understand science. He writes such a crappy review and DP people link to it. What a shame!!
This establishes Jagadguru’s divinity once and for all, just as in earlier incarnations He had demonstrated His greatness by showing Yashodha the cosmos inside his mouth, or Arjuna his radiant form.
Posted by Aadisht 